Following is a sample of what I had to deal with in my whopping 8.5 mile commute to work this morning:

1. The street I take to the freeway has two lanes going in either direction. As would be expected, in the mornings it is quite full of people on their way to work. Evidently deciding that his was the only vehicle of any importance on the road this morning was a dude in a truck who just could not pick one lane. Instead, he was driving straight down the middle of the two.

2. At one crucial intersection on this same street, there are two left turn lanes. I was going straight through the intersection. A lady in one of the turn lanes decided at the last minute that she wanted to go straight instead. OK, I know this happens; people figure out that they got in the wrong lane, OK whatever. I don't mind letting you in. WHEN YOU USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL AND LET ME KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO INSTEAD OF JUST PULLING THE FUCK OUT IN FRONT OF ME, ALMOST CAUSING AN ACCIDENT.

3. Getting on the freeway, there are again two turn lanes. These lanes are small and you need to pay attention and make sure you stay in your lane or someone will hit you. It happens very often. And yet pert near every morning (including this one) people are just turning all willy-nilly, moving into the lane which is not theirs.

4. Once I finally, by some miracle, made it to the freeway, the driver of some work truck evidently thought his time was far more precious than anyone elses. At first he was ahead of me and I watched with mounting irritation as he moved in and out of the heavy traffic, wanting desperately to get that inch or two ahead, cutting off numerous cars and trucks in the process. Imagine my delight when he ended up stuck behind a semi and in the lane next to me. He ended up right behind me, though, as I was merging on to another freeway. There is ONE merging lane at this particular juncture and it has a sharp curve which necessitates driving slowly. Ahead of me were a car and another semi (always lots of semis in this area). Again - ONE MERGING LANE. This nutt job decided he didn't want to drive the slow speed our position behind the semi and the sharp curve dictated and decided to DRIVE ON THE SHOULDER. What an ass! He ended up stuck behind me anyway, because there was absolutley no room for him to do whatever the fuck he had planned on doing.

Konky...keep all of this in mind during your upcoming trip to Cali and remember your defensive driving skills.

Oh and now I get to work and Ex-Crush Dude wants to talk to me and The Little Big Man about the fax machine mishaps from yesterday! What??? Get OVER it, dude! It's no big deal! Just get us a fuckin fax machine that doesn't waste a ream of paper every day and shut the fuck up about it!!!!!!

*That sound you now hear is my intense heavy breathing and it ain't happening because I'm having a good time*

Is there a full moon out tonight or something? Thanks God I'm outta here in an hour.

Thanks for letting me vent (as if you had a choice).

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

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~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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