The real reason I finally made the appointment though, truth be told, is that...I have a lump on my left breast.

OK, no need to panic, right?

Actually, I don�t think there is. Maybe I�m just being a na�ve ignoramus here (which is a distinct possibility), but I�ve not been worried about this lump. I�ve actually known about it since...oh...October? I think that�s when I first felt it, because I was talking to my sister about it when we went to Vegas for Halloween. I think it�s probably just a fibroid or something, but the fact of the matter is that last week I noticed it has gotten bigger. And it�s now actually hurting me because the underwire of my bra hits it (don�t worry � it�s not like a huge lump on the underside of my boob or anything. I don�t look like I have three of �em. In fact, John�s never even noticed it. It�s just below the surface, though, and is raised just enough to be bothered by my bra). So since it�s now really bugging me, I actually remembered to call the damn doctor.

OK, I know...I am a dumbass.

Here is my litany of excuses as to why I didn�t call the doctor sooner:

1. No woman in my family has ever had breast cancer so I haven�t given much thought to this lump actually being a problem. I know...bad excuse. But seriously, that�s been my thought process. If I end up actually having breast cancer, I'm gonna be the poster-girl for what not to do.

2. I had to find a new OB GYN (switched insurance about a year ago) and was asking around to see if anyone had some fabulous doctor to which they could refer me. Sadly, nobody really did.

3. I am so sick of doctors after my many recent visits and frustrations with them that I REALLY don�t want to go again!

4. I kept forgetting to bring my insurance stuff (including the book filled with names of participating doctors) to work so that I could actually call the doctor at a time when someone might even be in the office.

In trying to see the glass as half-full, as usual, I have had the following thought: Maybe, when having this fibroid or whatever it ends up being removed, I can talk the doctor in to giving me a breast-lift and have my insurance pay for it! Let me just say that big boobs are fun to have (and unless the person is a double-D or higher, don�t let anyone tell you otherwise. They�re just trying to make you feel better) until you reach the age of, say 35. Then they start heading south. You have to start looking for sexy nighties which actually hold them up because otherwise they just slip beneath the silky material and you look like you have goiters on your stomach.

Thank God I never had KIDS. I can only imagine...

My appointment isn�t even until Feb. 18. I guess if I had told them I have a lump perhaps they might have squeezed me in sooner...

P.S. Thanks for all of the Guestbook notes! You people are rad in a major way. *smooches*

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