A bunch of us went to a bar for Happy Hour a few weeks ago and he showed up. It was basically the same scenario then. I said hello, he turned around and fled to the other end of the bar�well, to the other side of the long table at which we were all sitting.

It�s all very amusing, if rather odd. I mean, even in the midst of his little tirade which killed the crush I once had on him, I was never rude or unkind or any such thing to him. What I�m saying is, he has no reason not to like me. And he never knew I had a crush on and many sex dreams about him. Therefore, I really don�t get it.

EVERYBODY IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME, DAMMIT!

~~~

I now have confirmation that I am losing weight. I bought a new skirt two months ago and have actually only worn it twice. I put it on this morning and it�s too big.

While I�m very happy that my dieting is paying off as far as my bod goes, I�m actually rather irritated that my skirt is too big. I have far too few clothes as it is, ya know? I guess I just shouldn�t have purchased any clothes until I knew whether or not this diet was going to work.

Oops.

Actually, for now I can still wear it and am as I write this. It�s too big around the waist and so is just hanging very low on my hips, but it�s all camouflaged and nobody can see any panty or anything. :) It�s just that if I keep losing weight, as I hope to, I�m not going to be able to wear it much longer�and its way cool, too. Luckily, it was on sale and really not that much money, so it�s not like I lost a fortune. Plus, I can always have it altered (it�s faux-suede, though, and I don�t know how easy that would be).

Anyway�why am I going on and on about such a trivial matter?

There�s some show on the Discovery Health Channel (have I told you that I get like 12,000 cable channels?) wherein a bunch of people are trying to lose weight and get healthier. It�s a competition and the winner gets a trip to Hawaii. That�s all I know about it. I don�t really watch the show, but I caught the last fifteen minutes or so last night, waiting for Berman and Berman to come on (those gals rock!). So here�s my point: This was the twelfth week of their competition. Although there were one or two exceptions, most of these people are losing like 2-3 pounds each month. And by all appearances they are working HARD at it.

I know this is average and it�s the healthy way to go � losing only like a pound a week. That�s fine by me. I mention it only because Bobbi is also on a diet and she is getting very discouraged. I told her about the show, but I don�t think it made her feel any better; and my telling her about my skirt this morning REALLY didn�t make her feel better.

Bobbi is 48 years old. We all know how age affects one�s metabolism and she has the added curse of being a female member of my family (we all struggle with the slow metabolism, to varying degrees). I don�t really know how much she weighs, but I�d hazard a guess that it�s probably about 70 lbs. more than I. She actually has a real weight problem, whereas most of us are just a few lbs. heavier than we�d like (truthfully, I am still in the average range for my height and frame - just up toward the top of the scale). The thing is, she�s really been working hard trying to lose weight since the beginning of the year and she�s only lost like 2 lbs. Meanwhile, she has a friend who has lost 50 lbs. over the last two years (while continuing to practice absolutely atrocious eating habits, I might add) and then here I am talking about my skirt being too big. She�s kind of discouraged. It�s always been even harder for her than it is for me. Even when we were going to the gym together, five days a week, two hours a day, which we did for several years; she was healthy and had stamina and strength, but she was still over weight.

She�s going to Alaska in August and wanted to lose a bunch of weight before then. She just finds it hard to be patient, of course.

~~~

I ordered a quasi-porno flick off of Pay-Per-View last night. These flicks are a rip-off, though, because who really watches them for longer than like 15 minutes? OK, maybe half an hour�I mean, they get to the good stuff right off the bat and its not like we watch them for the plotlines, ya know?

My question is, what kind of woman watches porno flicks by herself? I mean, I don�t make a habit of it or anything, but I do watch maybe one every couple of months.

I think I may be a freak�

~~~

I was going to write about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder today. What the hell happened to my thought process?

I think I�m going to write about that in a separate entry because it�s going to be a long one and�well, plus, the topic is not exactly in keeping with the tone of the rest of this entry, now is it?

**P.S. In case you haven't figured out yet that I am a complete dork: I just went to take a drink of water and instead I spilled water all down the front of my person!

Just call me grace.

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