I�ve been very busy, hence no update for a few days. I haven�t even been able to read anybody else�s journal updates which, pathetically, may bother me even more than my un-writing-ness. This wacky online journal stuff is strangely addictive.

Updating ones journal right now anyway, seems�well�how do I put it? Trivial? Confusing? Daunting? I have seriously considered keeping two journals � one for the meaningless, trivial events of my nonetheless hugely entertaining (or so I like to tell myself) life and one for the more serious issues confronting each of us right now. Because really � how does one write in one�s journal these days about the little things which may be huge and meaningful in my world but, in the great vast scheme of things don�t even register on the radar?

�Dear Diary,

Over the weekend, I met a boy�tee-hee�giggle-giggle�He was so very cute! And you know what? My friend Susie has a class with him. I think she�s going to pass him a note to see for sure if he likes me. I hope so because he is just dreamy!

Yeah, and by the way several of our soldiers were captured and are being held as POWs and Iraq is parading them around on t.v. as war trophies.�

The latter, as we all know, is sadly true. The former, also sadly, is not.

I must say, I am extremely impressed by the seeming fortitude of the two prisoners I have seen glimpses of on the news (I have only seen still photographs of the others). I�m sure, were I in their shoes, I�d be weeping like a baby and giving up my mother�s address and cell phone number if they wanted it. That said, I hope they don�t have to utilize that fortitude for much longer.

~~~

John did not get to come down until Saturday, as he was working on his sister�s car Friday night. Since I went out on Thursday and since I am old, I was very tired Friday and therefore stayed in. I was asleep by 10:30 pm. Yes, I am a party girl.

The weekend was nice. John and I watched Dances with Wolves. I doubt any of you have read my opinion on this movie, but suffice it to say that I like it. I cried like a baby. Now, how many times have I seen his flick? And still I cry. At least this time I didn�t cry over the death of Kevin Costner�s little animal friends. Frankly, this is nothing short of a miracle.

I also cried while watching the Oscars. I think I was a tad emotional on Sunday.

(My life and image are rather comical. To so many, I have a real �hard-ass� persona and so many people think I am heartless and very �black and white� in my thinking�in reality, I�m a HUGE softie and there is nothing black and white here, believe me.)

I spent Sunday with my family over at my parent�s house. We had a good time, but I really was in a strange mood. I was alternately either being very funny or rather snippy (I hate to say it, but my mom has been driving me batty lately�well, like over the past several months, truth be told). I totally blew my diet, of course. I really can�t be expected NOT to eat my mommies fried chicken and biscuits and gravy, now can I? Plus, we had two different kinds of cake. This is a big problem � I have such a large family that when we all get together we have to have more than just one dessert. Of course, I then have to sample each one � just to be polite to those who worked so hard baking them, of course. This time, I myself even made a German Chocolate Cake. Yum!

Unlike apparently most everybody else, I enjoyed the Oscar telecast on Sunday, Peter Jennings� little interruptions of reality notwithstanding. I thought Steve Martin was hilarious. I thought everyone looked exceptionally lovely too. I have come to the conclusion that this was because everyone was attempting to be �understated� in their elegance. Just goes to show ya, doesn�t it?

Now�In No Boundaries news: MY BOYFRIEND GOT SENT PACKING! ACK! It was all rather weird�After they got whittled down to like the last six or seven people on this trip, the removals became very difficult. There were no obvious leaks or loose cogs on their team and the strategies each had come in to the game with pretty much disappeared as the people involved grew closer, etc. (This is such a great show!). Anyway�I told ya�ll that Matt had grown close to the married Stephanie and I really think that had a lot to do with his being kicked off. The guy that gave him the boot (Eli) said that Matt is a great guy (well, duh!), but that he had some moral differences with him. To his credit, Eli refused to really go in to detail and said a lot of really cool things about Matt. I think for him it just came down to the fact that here we have five really great people left; each are pulling their weight, each are as big a threat to my winning the game as the next; who do I get rid of? On the surface of things, Matt was actually a good choice. At the time, there were three very strong guys left and two women. While the women are both strong, physically they are not as strong as the men. Therefore, even though the three guys who were left supposedly formed an �alliance� long ago, if Eli was looking to get rid of his biggest �competition� at this point, Matt was a good choice.

One reason I say I love this show so much though, is that I really don�t think he gave Matt the boot because of the competition. They just aren�t thinking that way, at least not exclusively. Of course, I may think that Matt deserved to win the entire competition (when Eli mentioned his difference in morality, I actually yelled at the t.v. �Well, he�s not the one who cheated on his husband! Kick off the ho� if that�s how you feel!�), but�well, I actually knew a long time ago who wins this game and that it�s not Matt, so I was just waiting for this to happen.

The interesting thing, I thought, was what happened after they all heard that Matt was going home (well, actually to the lodge where all the rejects go). Initially, everyone was very upset, of course. They had all assumed Eli would kick off one of the gals and stick to his alliance (well, plus Eli is rather controlling and seems to think the gals capable of little without a man around to help them out). And Matt is such a spark of encouragement and a big morale boost, plus he�s just great at everything on a physical level (*ahem* excuse me while my mind wanders for a moment�OK, where was I?). So Stephanie rather lamely says that she feels she should offer to leave in Matt�s place�but she says this so half-heartedly; plus the wording was �I feel like I should offer�� blah-blah-blah. Yeah, you should but are you going to? Anyway, Eli ends up saying he�d rather stick to his decision and so Matt jumps off a cliff and leaves�literally. He jumped off a cliff and into a river while saying good-bye.

God, I love that man.

After the next commercial break, Stephanie is just pleased as punch to be competing in the next event and is actually the leader for the next round. Nice recovery there, broken-hearted girl.

Now, I understand they edit these shows and perhaps she was really upset and truly offered to leave in Matt�s place and it was more of an honest offer than was televised�but�uh�well, it didn�t really look to me like she was very upset about the whole thing, at least after the initial shock wore off. Nothing against her; I mean, she went on the show I assume in the hopes of winning the game. Plus, it�s almost over; she�ll see Matt in like three days so even though she may be sad that he is not going to win the game, she won�t be missing him for any other reason for very long.

So only one removal left�then they are down to three and the three of them compete in some way to win the whole thing. I am pretty sure Eli will now be the next to go, which will leave two groovy chicks and the nice quasi-Asian Doctor dude with the totally rad upper-body!

And then what will I do with my life? I absolutely refuse to get involved with any more reality t.v. shows. That�s for damn sure.

I am determined to buy a kayak sometime this Spring, so I can keep myself occupied with it instead, I guess.

And I'll leave you all with my man's ultimate response to getting kicked off the show: .

� Entering the show and throughout the show my personal goals did not change. I felt the program was a forum through which I could exhibit and role model the traits I feel are important in life. Community, selflessness, strength of will, enthusiasm and being positive amongst others. I felt if I could leave the show having represented these things than I was successful.�

--Matt Springer

What's not to love there?

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