When I went to that Casino Gala shin-dig over the weekend (I am no longer calling it the Black-Jack with Half-Pint shin-dig because�well, Half-Pint was a no-show), one of the items they auctioned off was an 8-week old Chocolate Lab. She was the cutest, silkiest little thing I have ever seen and I fell madly and completely in love with her. Sadly, I did not have the $550 it would have cost me to buy her so some rich folks who had already purchased a puppy at last year�s auction got to take her home.

Actually, it was rather amusing. The bids got up to $500 and this Italian-looking man of about my age goes to the microphone and says, �We already have a dog and so I�m just going to give the money and we can put the puppy up for auction again.� So he goes to pay up and the bidding starts again�well, it seems his wife really did want the new puppy so she was bidding again while he was on the other side of the room, writing his check. And she won again. So they had to pay an additional $550 for her!

Damn�must be nice to have so much money you can afford to pay for the same dog twice�

Anyway�I am really avoiding getting a puppy for two reasons:

1. I live in an apartment. Now, my pad may be over 1400 square feet of rad apartment, but it�s still an apartment and I have no yard; not even a little patio. Most of the dogs I want are on the big side, like said Chocolate Lab (man�every time I think of her, I am all lovesick and sad that she�s not waiting at home for me). What full-grown Lab wants to be locked in an apartment all day long? I don�t care how many walks I would take her on, or the fact that part of my beach is soon to be designated a dog beach�the fact is that for an average of eleven hours every week day (cuz that�s how long I am usually at work�cuz I�m an idiot, evidently), my poor dog would be trapped inside with her ghost friends�assuming that the ghosts like dogs and that they�ll be friends.

- Which brings up a whole other point, really�When I first moved out of my parent�s house, I lived in a house with a married couple. This couple had a Blonde Lab. Really, it�s all their fault that I now want a dog so badly. I fell totally in love with that pup. Anyway, his name was Dakota (or Codie as I called him) and Codie wouldn�t come in to my bedroom because it was way haunted. This was the time when I decided that I did in fact believe in ghosts�You know, after they�d been keeping me awake and scaring the living hell our of me for about six months). Anyway my point is that I now live in a haunted apartment. Would my doggie really want to even be there? Would she be happy and feel safe and warm?

2. I am far too unreliable to have anyone or anything depend on me for its life and livelihood.

You should see what is and is not in my fridge right now. I think I have three eggs, some spinach and my Pure water filtration thingamagig. Oh, and that ice-mask thing I put on my face in vain efforts to reduce the puffiness around my eyes and more productive efforts to rid myself of sinus headaches. If I can�t even buy food for myself on a regular basis, how can I be trusted to feed another living critter? Not to mention the fact that when I found a lump in my breast it took me like eight months to make a doctor appointment and have it checked out.

3. I go away often and would have to find someone to care for my dog in my absence. Now, I know for certain that Amy would do so, but it�s not like she lives around the corner from me. She lives in Mar Vista which, for those of you not in the know, is really a part of Los Angeles that has its own separate identity and name (kind of like Hollywood which isn�t really a city; it�s just a part of LA that likes to call itself something different. We Californians are tres-weird). She�s like half an hour away. She works full time and goes to school a couple nights a week. Does she really need the added inconvenience of coming to the LBC to walk and feed my dog a couple of nights each month, just so I�ll have something cute to snuggle with on those nights when John is not with me?

4. I have massive allergies.

I didn�t used to have dog-dander and fur allergies (although I have been allergic to cats for a long time), but this is apparently something else that has gotten worse in my old age. When house and doggie-sitting for John�s sister a while back, I discovered that I have dog allergies. I was OK, so long as the dog was kept outside for the majority of the time, but of course that wouldn�t happen in my apartment. I think it depends on what breed of dog it is; I am pretty sure there are some I am allergic to and others I am not. But how would I know before the dog had already moved in?

If I give in to the temptation and buy a puppy in spite of all of the above, I will not get a large-ish dog until I own my own place, complete with a yard in which said doggie can play while I�m slaving away at my 7-6 job so that I can afford to buy him doggie-chow. What I have been considering purchasing is a�man, now I can�t even remember what they�re called! �Eddie� from Frasier, ya know? So cute. Oh, he was also in �My Dog Skip�, a movie I loved by the way.

I�m such a sap.

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