� What do you expect from such simple creatures?!

� Your last name stays put.

� The garage is all yours.

� Wedding plans take care of themselves.

� Chocolate is just another snack.

� You can be president.

� You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

� Car mechanics tell you the truth.

� The world is your urinal.

� You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

� Same work, more pay.

� Wrinkles add character.

� Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

� People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

� The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

� New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

� One mood, ALL the time.

� Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

� You know stuff about tanks.

� A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

� You can open all your own jars.

� You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

� If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

� Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

� Everything on your face stays its original color.

� Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

� You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

� You almost never have strap problems in public.

� You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

� The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

� You don't have to shave below your neck.

� Your belly usually hides your big hips.

� One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

� You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

� You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

� You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

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~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Don't know why you'd wanna, but on the off-chance you may feel tempted to steal any of my words and claim them as your own, please be advised: All material
Copyright 2002-2005, Howl-at-the-Moon Words



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