Subject: TEETH

Hey, so did that teeth-whitening stuff work for you or not? My teeth are getting so yellow. I need to do something, even if it means I have �strings� in my mouth* for a little while. Maybe after I get back from Vegas I�ll buy the Crest Whitening Strips at Wal Mart.

Speaking of Wal Mart � I think I�ll be going there on my lunch hour today. I need to buy Liquid Plumber. I�ve been trying that 1 cup of bleach in my drain suggestion**, but it is NOT working for me. My drain is getting plugged up again and it just keeps happening.

Do you remember when my downstairs neighbor was having a problem with the plumbing in their shower and the plumber had to come up to my shower and do a roto-rooter job? I think I�m going to ask my new downstairs neighbors if they�re having any problems, cuz I�ll bet it�s all connected.

My new neighbors are very nice, by the way. Two women live there; they�re about my age. I think one of them is a nurse. I also think they�re lesbians, although I haven�t actually broached the subject with them. One of them has a daughter, too, about eleven or twelve. She doesn�t live with them all the time, so I assume it�s not their kid but that one of them must have been married previously or something.

Anyway, they�re also a cooking couple, which means I have to suffer through the fabulous smells of whatever they�re concocting that night. I did a load of laundry last night and one gal (the nurse whose name I don�t remember. The other one is Jeannie) was outside bar-b-queing. On my way to the laundry room I said to her, �Hey, I�m a single woman up here. I live on yogurt and Lean Cuisines. You guys are killing me with these smells!�

Actually, I think their bar-b-que may literally kill me. The fumes from it go right up into my bedroom windows. I always shut my windows right away, but by the time I get home most of the damage has been done and I spend the rest of the night trying to get charcoal fumes out of my pad.

Hey, my herbs and bell peppers are starting to grow! This is my second try, actually; the first ones didn�t work. And actually, so far only the Oregano and peppers are growing; my Basil isn�t popping up, yet. It�s early, though.

I guess next time I do peppers I�ll get red or yellow ones, though!*** Well, at least I can give some to John and Linda and maybe Carla. I love bell peppers, but I am only one person. How many bell peppers can a gal eat?

This is all assuming I have several peppers on my plants, that is. I have a bunch more seeds, though. I�m just waiting to see if this new way I�m growing them will work. I�m doing them via Hydroponics. John bought me this cool planter a while ago that works Hydroponically. He bought it for me to grow Irises in, but I haven�t yet found any Iris bulbs so I decided to use it for my little herbs. John rigged up a light in the back room closet for them, so that�s where they�re growing. I think it�s working so much better because I can control how much sun and of course moisture they get inside. Since I didn�t have a window I can use, the light is working great. So far, so good.

I can�t find my New Mexico Chile seeds, though! I saved a bunch of them from when we had the peppers and now I can�t find them. : (

Did you know Johnny**** just turned 21 last week? That�s another reason John is coming down. He�s going to take him to lunch on Saturday and buy him a drink.

And how is everything in your neck of the woods? Did Dr. Dan come in yesterday afternoon?

*I have sensitive gums. A long time ago, I was using a Tartar Control toothpaste that made my gums peel. I found this out because I would have actual �strings� coming out of my mouth. When I talked to Barbara (who works in a dental office) about it, we discovered that the strings were actually a layer of my gums that peeled off. Eeew�

**The maintenance man at Barbara�s apartment building suggested she pour 1 cup of bleach into her drain once a week and let it sit overnight. Apparently, bleach dissolves hair rather well. Also apparently, it either does not dissolve mine or that is not the cause of my continually clogging shower drain.

***I have discovered, after using lots and lots of green bell peppers in salads and various other food items I have made for my family for the past several years, that almost nobody can eat them because they give everyone gas.

****Johnny is John�s youngest son. He lived with us for the first couple of years John and I lived together.

-----Original Message-----

From: Barbara

Sent: Wednesday, June 11, 2003 10:23 AM

To: Karen

Subject: Re: TEETH

Hi-

Yeah, Dan came in. He's working hard now. (He's afraid of me!)

My bleaching really worked and I only did it for 5 days. It's supposed to take 3 weeks. I'm sure the over the counter stuff will work fine for you. I stopped because of bad sensitivity but I'm going to do it again before vacation.

Sorry the bleach isn't working for your drain. In old buildings like that, the plumbing usually plugs easily.

Yeah, sure, you're probably growing evil weed in your closet! I didn't know you were growing things over there. Peppers are easy and you know your green ones will turn red if you leave them on the vine long enough. They're the same plant, just different levels of ripeness. I don't know about yellow. Sounds like you're having fun with it, that's great. What we found with herbs is that it's alot easier to start with little plants, not seeds. Much easier that way. You can buy them already started as little plants and then just plant them. Of course, with your "hydroponic" system, I don't know if that would work.

I hate having to smell everyone's dinner. Of course, it's usually us smelling so wonderful. Last night I was walking at obviously everyone's dinner time. Killer. I came home, took a bath and had a salad. Can you see my halo from there?

Happy birthday Johnny! Wow, these kids are getting old.

Talk to you later,

b

-----Original Message-----

From: Karen�

Sent: Wednesday, June 11, 2003 10:46 AM

To: Barbara�

Subject: Re: TEETH

Yeah, you �member, �member? I told you about the herb garden a while back. I tried to grow them on my back porch, but the weather was so funky they did not survive. So now I�m trying inside.

Evil weed�hmm�at least I could make some money off of it. I don�t think anyone will pay money for my peppers.

And you know, I knew that about peppers turning red after a while�I�m such a dork.

~~~

Good-Bye to Ebony.

Poor Ebony was eliminated at the end of last night�s America�s Next Top Model. I have the sinking feeling that the show will become less and less exciting now. Well, at least we still have Miss Robin who I�m sure will never disappoint.

But I am at the end before I have recapped all of the inspirational happenings on last night�s show.

First of all, Ebony had her girlfriend over for a little while. She asked permission, which I thought quite polite. Because she is a Lesbian, however, Robin and the other �Christian� gal there (Shannon, she who needs to close her mouth; and who is apparently a virgin) had a problem with it. She could come over, they decided, if Ebony kept her out of their living space.

They didn�t even meet the girl when she came over. In the words of Robyn, �Everybody has to deal with their own sins.�

Why yes�that�s right, they do...Miss Narrow-Minded, Judgmental, Hypocritical Diva, 2003.

If heaven is going to be filled with the likes of you and your Donna Summer hair (cuz you know her fabulous new �do is gone already), I�ll be getting really, really hot, along with all of the other cool people. Luckily, I sincerely doubt this will be the case and that�s a really good thing because although I like the heat, I doubt very much it will be a dry heat down there and I am a supreme baby when it comes to humidity.

I really think Robin is lovely, but she has to be the most annoying person on the planet. I am really beginning to realize that for the most part models should be seen and not heard. One more glimpse of her calling out to Jesus in the repeat from last week�s episode where they had to pose with snakes was enough to set my teeth on edge last night.

It looks like our friend from Corona, Giselle, may be the next to go. I hope not. First of all, she�s young and spoiled and doesn�t like to clean up the house and that is just good reality television in the making. Secondly, I think she�s gorgeous and I like the fact that she�s of Latin decent. Diversity, people. Let�s all sing its praises.

So what else happened? Well, we saw lots and LOTS of Tyra Banks (have you noticed her picture is even on the other girls� portfolios?).

Looks like next week they all start accusing my favorite, Elyse, of being anorexic. The funny thing is, I have seen her eating on the show far more often than anyone else. Plus, look at Shannon�s photos. When I can see every bone in your chest IN A PHOTO, you are way too thin, honey chil�.

~~~

So in continuing my research of the Elkhorn Slough (pronounced "slew", by the way...I know...I had no idea, either), I have discovered they have�SHARKS IN THERE!!!!

ACK!!!!!!!

Ya�ll�I have the most terrifying and insane fear of sharks ever. Yes, I understand that the possibility of my ever being eaten by a shark is miniscule (especially since I rarely venture in to ocean waters). Yes, I understand that from my position of sitting in a kayak or an even bigger boat the chances of getting close enough to a shark for him to eat me are similarly small.

Logic has nothing whatsoever to do with phobias. When I was a kid, I would often get scared while swimming in our pool, for God�s sake.

A fear of sharks would not interfere with the life of a normal person. I am one, however, who loves the outdoors. I love animals of all sorts. I love marine life. Growing up, I thought briefly of becoming a Marine Biologist (until I realized how many science classes I�d have to take). I am THE person you would think would totally be in her SCUBA gear at the bottom of the ocean at every available opportunity.

And I would be�except that I have a crippling fear of sharks.

I am determined to overcome this fear, have no doubt. I have always said that should I win the lottery one of the first things I will do is head down to Australia to go down in one of those shark cages and hang out with Great Whites. Drastic, yes, but I figure if I can get through that I won�t have a problem, like, snorkeling with freakin� Nurse Sharks.

Something that left me literally frozen in terror only a few years ago.

I went snorkeling off of Catalina Island. There were Nurse Sharks. I freaked out. I hyperventilated and my body wouldn�t move. It�s really a good thing I was not alone or I would surely have drowned in my panicked state.

Have ya�ll seen a Nurse Shark? They�re TINY. One of those things would have a hard time getting its mouth around my little finger.

See? There is no logic to be found here.

In my defense, there were other kinds of sharks in the water aside from Nurse Sharks. I knew this going in and was making an effort to subjugate my fears. It�s just that I didn�t see any other kind. However, the knowledge that they were out there�somewhere�put me over the edge. I was on red alert so when I saw the Nurse Sharks I went a wee bit wiggy.

Frankly, I think I should be applauded for making it as far as snorkeling in the first place. And if memory serves I was in the water a full hour before the mental breakdown.

So that was my first foray into the ocean in an effort to rid myself of this irrational fear. Went well, didn�t it? I will not give up, however. I am determined to get my SCUBA license before my 40th birthday. That gives me four years.

I think the kayaking will be an important step. I�ve never kayaked on the ocean. A) you don�t usually have to deal with sharks of any kind on rivers. B) Rapids, baby! So much fun and generally only found in rivers. I have no problem being on boats in the ocean; in fact, I love it to death. But a kayak is so�CLOSE TO THE SHARKS!!!!!!

John and I both live in ideal spots to kayak, though, and the temptation for fun is just too overwhelming to ignore. Santa Cruz, where John lives, is on the northern end of the Monterey Bay which is a marine preserve. It is filled with Sea Otters (so cute!), among other critters. Plus, because it is a natural bay, the wave action is limited. I live right next to the Naples area of Long Beach. Long Beach is part of the LA Harbor, a man-made harbor which also limits wave-action. Naples is built around a series of canals. Very pretty and very conducive to a delightful kayaking experience�or so I would imagine.

Also�man, my bangs are too long! I don�t know how those girls whose bangs perpetually hang in their eyes can put up with that all day long. These things be buggin�!

And as a final note: God Bless Naked Juice!

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