See, about half an hour ago the growling in my stomach became so deafening that I just had to eat something. Since, in a fit of rushed dorkiness, I left what was supposed to be my lunch today at home this morning, I had to leave my office in search of food.

As you may remember, I swore off of fast food months ago, in an effort to shed the extra pounds which somehow found my person in the last year and also in an effort just to eat in a more healthy manner in general. However, if you knew the neighborhood in which I work you would know that my options for a quick lunch are rather limited. Therefore, I drove through Jack n the Box, intent on obtaining a Chicken Teriyaki Bowl. I figured if I had to eat fast food, this was the least evil of my options (aside from a salad and I gotta tell ya, I am pretty much saladed-out right now). Plus, those chicken bowls are damn good.

Of course, since my hunger pangs set in at about noonish, I was far from the only one driving through Jack n the Box today. There was a line about half a mile long. Not a problem, because it was actually moving along at a reasonable pace, for which I was very grateful because, as you may know, I don't even like to waste time taking a lunch break at all, let alone spending said lunch break in line at a drive-thru in ninety-degree weather.

However, and this is where it gets ugly, as I approached the pre-ordering menu (you know, the one before you actually have to place your order. By the way, I love drive-thrus that have the pre-ordering menu. It really sucks when you don�t even get to look at the menu until you are actually AT the spot where you have to place your order. Then you have to hurry and make up your mind with the pressure of people pulling up behind you. It�s just too much stress!), I saw no Chicken Teriyaki Bowl�hmm�perhaps it will magically appear on the menu in front of the spot where you actually place your order, I thought, full of optimism. No such luck. And of course by this point, there is no getting out of the drive thru. First of all, I�d already sat there for five precious minutes and I wasn�t about to start all over somewhere else. Secondly, there were about seven cars behind me and I was trapped! So when the kind, automated voice welcomed me to Jack in the Box, I asked, �Don�t you have the Chicken Teriyaki Bowl anymore?� in the hope that magically they might have one somewhere in the back or something or they just had to take it off the menu to make room for their new Root Beer Float.

Nope.

No, they no longer have my beloved Chicken Teriyaki Bowl.

Jack n the Box no longer carries my beloved Chicken Teriyaki Bowl! Goddammit!

So the pressure was on and I had to quickly decide which out of the like five thousand menu options they now have at Jack n the Box what I wanted and what might be less fattening than the next thing on the menu (aside from a salad because I gotta tell ya, I am pretty much saladed-out right now. Plus, I kept having visions of the last time I tried to order a salad at Jack n the Box running through my head and I knew I just had neither the time nor the emotional energy to deal with that sort of trauma today). Sweat sprouted on my brow as I could hear the people in the now nineteen cars behind me saying amongst themselves, �For Pete�s sake, Lady � make up your mind! What, you�ve never been to freakin� Jack n the Box before?�

So I opted for the new Turkey Jack.

And might I say�this turkey-ish supposed burger? In three words � Pretty Much Sucks!

Oy.

The horror.

And my beloved Chicken Teriyaki Bowl? R.I.P., baby. You shall be missed.

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