Also, I just have to say that we have been having the most beautiful sunsets over the past couple of weeks. The clouds start to roll in around the same time the sun is going down and it all makes for one delicious pallet of red and orange beauty.

In not so happy news, I awoke this morning to the strange sounds of workmen playing with drills beneath my window. That�s when I turned over and looked around to see a ladder standing right outside my window. My window whose blinds I�ve been keeping cracked open every night in order to let in a little extra air. They�re not cracked enough for my neighbors to see in to my room or anything, but one would see in if say one�s face was pressed up against the window, courtesy of a ladder!

I was really pissed. As it is, I missed giving some Latino workman a view of my white nekkid ass by mere seconds.

I left a nice little note on my apartment manager�s door this morning.

So I made the mistake of opening the new Coldwater Creek catalogue again yesterday. Big mistake. Would someone please explain to me why I insist on torturing myself in this manner?

As I was explaining in blofeld�s guestbook the other day, I am in serious need of a new pair of sunglasses.

The last time I was in San Francisco, I dropped my Ray Bans on the floor of a store and as a result, the left lens popped out. I have ever since been applying Super Glue, periodically, as it turns out that even Super Glue doesn�t hold plastic together forever. In the process, I have gotten bits of glue stuck to the actual lens. Just a bit, here and there�but those bits add up. The last time the Super Glue gave out and my left lens went flying, a little piece of the plastic frame actually broke off, meaning the circle has been broken on that side.

You would think I�d just buy new sunglasses, wouldn�t you?

I have to wear sunglasses whenever I venture out in to daylight and it doesn�t matter how soft that daylight might be. Foggy? Doesn�t matter; the glare alone is cause enough for the sunglasses. The same can be said for clouds. Occasionally, I don�t have to wear them in the rain, but only if it�s raining really hard and the clouds are very, very dark.

Therefore, you�d think I�d just buy new sunglasses, wouldn�t you?

The thing is, I am a sunglasses snob. I don't go in for changing my sunglasses to fit the current trends, no sirree. Over the years, I have continually bought the ones I like. They look good on me, they're cool and, more importantly, are dark enough to block out even the tiniest of UV rays and sunshine. I won�t buy just any pair of glasses and the ones I prefer are rather expensive Ray Bans. I have been known to find an alternative but they end up being almost as expensive as my favorites anyway. So I have been putting off the buying of new sunglasses, because I know that when I do I must be prepared to fork over a week�s salary or something nearing its equivalent.

Of course, even wearing a cheap and pitiful pair for a few months would have been better than walking around in a broken pair with dried glue all but covering the left lens and a missing chunk of plastic big enough to catch my pinky in (don�t ask), but lets not look for logic here in ikss-land, OK?

Now that I am going to be walking for three days, I am torn as to whether or not to buy a new pair of sunglasses for the event. On the one hand, if I lose or damage the pair I am presently using, it won�t matter because hey � they�re broken anyway. On the other hand, I can not be out in the sun AT ALL without sunglasses. If these puppies happen to break say, smack dab in the middle of day two�and the old, glued-together ones are more apt to break than new ones would be�that would be a major crisis, indeed.

Maybe I�ll just take along some super glue. That might come in handy anyway, for a whole myriad of reasons.

Of course, I do have a birthday between now and then. Maybe I�ll just have to drop a hint or two.

And never fear, folks. I should have my own Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk web page up by the end of the week. And then the begging will commence.

I would just like to say that I really love nuts in my salad. I mean, I love crunchy things in general � won ton noodles, croutons, etc. But some lovely sunflower seeds, some shaved almonds or, as was the case in a Thai Chicken salad I just had for lunch, some caramelized walnuts? Sheer divinity, that�s all.

I would also like to say that I can not be trusted around Ding Dongs. That�s all there is to it.

Since we�re on the subject of salads, though, and since I have nothing more important I wish to discuss today, I thought I would tell you all about my strange eating habits.

I don�t eat dressing on my salads, for instance.

I suppose I could find a salad dressing I like. However, I happen to love salads without dressing. So what�s the point of dripping all of those calories over what otherwise is a healthy meal?

I eat my hamburgers and hot dogs plain. You read that right � plain. Absolutely bare. I hate ketchup. I hate mustard. I hate mayonnaise. I hate any form of �special sauce� you fast food joints so love to slather all over your burgers.

Now here again, it could be argued that the taste of a hamburger or even a Hebrew National Hot Dog is one of life�s simple pleasures; why cover it up in a lot of slop? However, the main reason I eat my hamburgers plain is just cause all of that slop makes me nauseous.

I do, however, love grilled onions and have a penchant for ordering grilled onions, Swiss cheese and sometimes mushrooms on my burger.

Hating the things I hate, however, not only means I have to place special orders every time I venture to McDonalds (I�m sure they love me there); it also means that any sort of pre-packaged sandwich will probably not be something I will eat because it invariably will have mayo or mustard on it, or both. Yuckaroonie.

At a few of the parties I have thrown, I ordered croissant sandwiches from a local bakery. I always have to have those made specially, too, without mayo or mustard. I get it all on the side, just like Sally of When Harry Met fame. Of course, in my opinion, this should always be done at parties anyway because one should never assume that one�s guests like mayo and/or mustard on their croissant sandwiches. In addition, mayo and mustard make the bread get soggy.

Pickles - eew!

I also do not like sour cream or guacamole. If you think this is no big deal, you obviously do not live in California or Arizona or Texas or any place where Mexican food is a big deal. I get very strange looks when ordering Mexican food items with the caveat �no sour cream and no guacamole�. They are just a staple �round these parts.

Contrarily, I am addicted to salsa. You may not find much food in my kitchen, but invariably, right along next to the Pure water filtration system, next to the stacks of yogurt, you will find a container of salsa.

I simply can not tolerate cream cheese. However, if you make a dessert which is yummy enough and cleverly disguises its cream cheese (meaning I can not taste it al all), I will eat it.

Cottage Cheese. Now that stuff is just plain gross. It smells bad, it looks bad and it tastes every bit as nauseating. As a rule, I tend to stay away from foods which are actually just gussied up spoiled milk products. Such as Bleu cheese, for instance. I mean, yes all cheese is actually pretty rancid, but it doesn�t all actually smell so.

Pesto sauce (which I just mistakenly spelled �suck� ha-ha). Ugh! I also do not care for straight tomato sauce, but this is directly attributed to my crippling fear of The Tomato.

Tomatoes are�inhumanly disgusting. I seriously detest them. I have dreams that the Gestapo is torturing me by making me eat tomatoes. I went to camp as a 4th-grader and one of their rules was that every kid had to at least try everything on their plate at each meal. One of the food items they forced upon me was a piece of tomato. I had one bite, it took me approximately half an hour to choke it down and I still didn�t get any stinkin� desert because I absolutely refused to eat any more of it.

I have never fully recovered from that trauma.

I do like marinara sauce, though, and pizza sauce�just so long as it doesn�t taste too much like just plain tomato, I am OK.

And that�s enough of that.

~~~

Word of the Day for Wednesday August 13, 2003

apothegm, also apophthegm AP-uh-them, noun: A short, witty, and instructive saying.

last / next



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