Washington, DC

(Name and addressed deleted for national security reasons)

Past Work Experience:

* I ran for Congress and lost.

* I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

* I bought an oil company but could not find any oil in Texas;

* The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

* I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. My biggest move as owner: traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago WhiteSox.

* With my father's help (and his name) was elected governor of Texas.

Accomplishments:

* I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

* I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.

* I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

* I set a record for the most executions by a Governor in American history.

* I became President of the USA after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President:

* I attacked two countries.

* I spent the budget surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

* I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set an economic record for the most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period in US history.

* I set an all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

* I am the first President in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

* I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

* In the first year in office I set the all-time record for the most days on vacation by any President in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

* I set the record for the most campaign fundraising trips than any other President in US history.

* In my first 2 years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any President in US history.

* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any President in US history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have done.

* I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

* I dissolved more international treaties than any President in US history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.

* (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

* I am the first President in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any President in US history.

* I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations remove the United States from the human rights commission.

* I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first President in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

* My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* I am the first US President in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea feel more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive." After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

* In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the US.

* I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other President in US history.

* In a little over 2 years I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the Civil War.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than 2 years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records And References:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. (My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.)

* I was AWOL from the National Guard during a time of war. (I also showed up with an alcohol level too high to fly. The Author of the book about my escapades was found dead at age 40, "of natural causes")

* I refuse to take any drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board of are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

last / next



~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Don't know why you'd wanna, but on the off-chance you may feel tempted to steal any of my words and claim them as your own, please be advised: All material
Copyright 2002-2005, Howl-at-the-Moon Words



***DISCLAIMER: These are my thoughts and my thoughts alone. If you know me in my "real life" off the net and have come across this page purely by accident, please keep in mind that you were not invited here and I would suggest you leave this page now. However, should you choose not to do so, please be warned that reading my thoughts here is not an invitation to discuss them off-line. You may discover things you do not know about me and may not like very much. Such is life. Again, this is MY space and I will use it as I see fit. If you are offended by anything here, well that's pretty much your own fault at this point. I say all of this with love, of course, but there it is.