First off, I�m still bumming that I�m not gonna see John �til tomorrow night. The good news is, though, that this means I can get my hair done tomorrow. My gray is showing and this is totally the week I should get it done, but I was gonna put it off a week cuz he and I were supposed to go to the Ren. Faire. So now I can be a redhead again by tomorrow afternoon. Also good is that the Nissan Dealership sent me a refund of like $140 cuz they over-charged me on the taxes and/or registration for the new car. Cool.

OK, so I got in to work today in decent spirits. Then I got irritated with a dork upstairs who continues to make the same f�n errors on one of my accounts and it causes them to be hundreds of thousands of dollars past due, makes extra work for me when it comes to cleaning up after him PLUS makes me look like a �tard to the customer when I�m asking them for payment on invoices they don�t even show are due yet. Ergh�

The main thing I�m pissed about now, though, is I�m being jerked around with my vacation. Now they�re telling me I can�t go in to the negative and I�m already IN the negative. OK, first of all, I�ve been here for eight months and have taken 3 vacation days. How could I even BE in the negative? But secondly, I asked about all of this before I even accepted this job. I was supposed to get two days off in October cuz I had a trip booked before I took this job. Then, I am supposed to get two week�s vacation plus two personal days DURING my first year of employment. I was not told I had to wait until it had accrued. I asked specifically about this because I didn�t go on a vacation last year and I knew I�d want to this year � I don�t want to go a whole other year without a real vacation. Anyway, I have to wait until Monday to work this all out with HR so I may as well not worry about it. But it has me irked. As I was told this, I was in the middle of an e-mail to Amy, telling her the plan about going to Utah. I would need to take three days off at that time and if this doesn�t get worked out, I�ll have to cancel the trip cuz I can�t afford to take the time off with no pay.

Anyway, Karen�don�t sweat it �til Monday�

Later, May 10�

OK, I�ve simmered down now.

Two gals from upstairs are gonna move down and be in our department as of June 1 and report to Robert. They just came down and boy howdy are they f�n LOUD. This is gonna be interesting�I like my peace, man. One of the things I really do not miss about that Dave guy we fired is the fact that he was so f�n loud (he was hard of hearing � these gals are just�effervescent).

I had been thinking that maybe I�d go out tonight, but now I�m thinking I won�t. I�m not feeling very confident lately, cuz I know I�ve gained a few lbs. Plus my hair is all two-tone. I like to straighten it when I hit the town and I can�t when I�ve got gray roots. So, I think I�ll just go home and watch the Lakers (playoffs, 2nd round. They�re tied w/ San Antonio, 1-1). The game starts at 6:30, too, so I really don�t even have time to go to Trader Joe�s, which I was also thinking about. But now that John won�t be here, I have all day tomorrow to go there and to Wal Mart, then go get my hair done.

While I was taking those metabolism-enhancers, I thought they were wreaking havoc with my mood. Well, I haven�t been taking them for a couple of weeks, now, and yet I�m still all outta wack. Maybe not so pissy, but still in a semi-blue way. Of course, I�ve had no mota all week, either. I�d hate to think that has anything to do with it. Sad to say it, but most of it is probably just that I miss John and moreover I miss having someone to lean on. John�s bringing some mota when he comes down, of course, but if I cheer up I won�t know if it�s him or it. If he leaves some behind for me, I guess I�ll know next week.

I read this ad a couple of days ago for this clinical trial for a new anti-depressant drug or something. Anyway, they listed like ten signs of clinical depression and I had like more than half of them. Whenever I get around to going to the doctor, I may end up talking to him about this. I also seem to worry all the time and while I�ve always been sort of a depressive, I�ve never really had this level of anxiety before. Maybe something chemical can help me out.

I do need to get to the doctor, in a major way. After I see what�s up with this �can�t go in to the negative� b.s. next week, I�ll make my appointment. I keep having tiny little dizzy spells. Like all day, sitting here at my desk, every once in a while I�ll get dizzy for a few seconds. This just seems to be happening more and more. My assumption is that it�s allergies and pressure on my sinuses, but even so it would be cool to get a prescription and therefore better drugs. I guess there�s always the possibility that something else is causing the dizziness, too, so I really need to go. I�ve eaten today, so that�s not it.

I�d also just like to get a basic physical; have my cholesterol checked and all that. Just wanna make sure the bod is in relative good health. Couple of weeks, maybe. Next Tuesday I have a dental appt. and have to leave work at like 3:00 so I don�t wanna push it. I mean, I�ll come in early, but still�

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