Anyway, so then I went to Barbi�s and Arnett made dinner for us (and Cathy, who came by for a couple of hours on her dinner break). Man, was it good. Salmon with an orange sauce, grilled scallops, some nifty veggies and great bread. Oh yeah, and I drank an entire bottle of wine. Barbi had bought me a bottle up in the Cambria-area when they went up there a couple of weeks ago, so I was drinking it with dinner�and after dinner. Yummy stuff, all around.

The Lakers won this round of the playoffs last night too, so it was really a great night. I drove home during half-time, listening to the third quarter on the radio, and saw the fourth quarter once I got home. Then I called John, cuz he asked me to let him know when I got home. Turns out he didn�t get home until like 4:00am on Monday morning (driving home from my place). Yikes.

I just got paid today and am already poor. This just sucks, big time. I never have any money anymore and I really don�t know why. On PAPER, it would appear as if I should have a few hundred dollars left each month, even after paying my bills, but I never do. I have to go to Wal Mart after work today and I know that will probably be $100 or more cuz I�m out of all kinds of stuff and have been putting off this Wal Mart trip for weeks. I�d be OK, except that John and I are supposed to go to Desert Hot Springs over Memorial Weekend and I�m not gonna have my half of the money. I�m sure he�ll just end up paying for it, but that makes me feel lousy. It was my idea, for Pete�s sake, and now I don�t have the money.

Guess it�s a good thing Amy decided she can�t go to Utah, after all. I really shouldn�t spend money on that, even though it wasn�t gonna be much in total. And I guess I won�t be going out this weekend. I was gonna go out by myself to a bar somewhere where they have live music. But now�well, who knows? Maybe I�ll go and just spend like $20. Hell, the last time I went out by myself I got totally drunk, even though I only bought two drinks. There were all kinds of people buying drinks for me.

I really hate worrying about money. There are so many more important things in the world. But I have a serious problem not spending money, so then that leads me to have to worry about it later. It�s a never-ending cycle.

After Lunch�

I went out to this little Chinese place for lunch. I wasn�t even that hungry, but I figgered I�d eat a little and bring some back for tomorrow�s lunch. Nope. I ate everything. That�s it � I�m going back on my diet, big time. I can�t believe what a porker I�ve been lately.

The cool thing is, we have some jasmine plants outside of work and they smell just wonderful. John and I had jasmine in our front and back yards in Chino Hills and I just loved that smell.

I�m still trying to work out my vacation-time questions. No hurry now, since my trip to Utah is a no-go. I do want to take July 5 off, though, cuz it�s a Friday and I thought I might go up to visit John for that long weekend. I doubt he�ll have Friday off and so we wouldn�t get to spend the 4th together otherwise. Plus, I think it�ll be very cool to spend the 4th in Santa Cruz and the date is not too far off. I�m really itching to get on the road. I doubt next weekend�s little jaunt to Desert Hot Springs will do the trick. It�s not far enough away and I�ll only be there one night. I am hoping we go to the Ren. Faire that weekend though, since we didn�t get to go last Saturday. I think that�s the preliminary plan, anyway.

Barbara asked me last night if I felt I�d sabotaged myself by moving in to my new, expensive pad; meaning that I�d intentionally moved somewhere that would necessitate my staying with John because I�d be dependent on him financially. That was an interesting take on the matter, but I don�t think it�s correct. I do think I just didn�t really think he�d ever leave again. Plus, I�m just an impulsive dufus sometimes. And by the time I gave my landlady a check for the deposit, I was so sick of looking for a new pad I was just elated that I found such a great place and she just accepted me as a tenant with open arms. No stupid application to fill out; no uneasy waiting while they review my application and decide whether or not they want me around.

Anyway, so this weekend it�s time for me to get some real work done on my kitchen. I should at least be able to get the final sanding done and all of the primer painted on. John is supposed to put my new table together next time he�s down, but that�s the same weekend we�re going to the desert, so who knows? No real rush since I don�t even have any chairs, as of yet.

I�m now considering just buying a bunch of mis-matched chairs for the dining room; different colors and all. That might be fun. I could just look around at various thrift stores and antique shops for cool chairs and buy them one-by one. Could be nifty and is something to consider. That or I may get the ones I want from Crate and Barrel and then just get or make different-colored cushions for each one. Of course, since I have no moolah for such an expense at the present time, this is all just dreaming�

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