No, not from the Hunky Drummer, although we�ll get to him in a minute.

Last night, at 9:00pm, my phone rang. And just why was my telephone ringing right at the beginning of the Best Show Ever? You may be asking. My question, exactly�the answer was because it was Van and he had no idea how much I love that show.

Van? Who�s Van?

I mentioned him here a while back, briefly, but am too lazy to find that entry and offer a link for your convenience (besides, I don�t even think anyone reading this thing ever hits my links anyway). I met Van on a Sunday evening, several weeks ago. We talked for all of five minutes. He asked for my number and at first I balked. Then I said, �If you can remember it, you can have it� and I rattled it off, quickly.

Well, he remembered it. Or he loaded it in to his cell phone. Whatever.

He called me a long time ago and I didn�t remember who he was. By the time I recalled, I had deleted his message. He has left me four messages, since. I deleted those, too, because by that time I was interested in the Hunky Drummer and between him and John*�well, come on. There�s only so much of the ikss to go around. In his last message, he said, �OK, Karen�this is my last try��

*We interrupt our regular programming to say that the prospect of being "between him and John" brings about just all sorts of naughty thoughts and visions which are helping to keep me warm right now. *ahem* Carry on.

Apparently, Van is a liar because he called me again last night. I asked that he call me, instead, tonight (nobody, but nobody interferes with America�s Next Top Model-watching, baby. Especially considering last night�s was the much-discussed and evidently extraordinarily-edited �orgy� episode).

I remember that Van is a very nice looking African-American (Jesus�can�t I just say �black�? It�s so much easier to type) man who likes the Philadelphia Eagles. I also seem to recall that he is younger than I (32 perhaps?). I don�t, however, remember exactly what he looks like or anything else we discussed when we met.

Of course, I now know that he is also rather persistent.

Guess who else called me last night? Yep, the HD himself. Wonder of wonders. He got half-way through his �I�m so sorry I haven�t called; I�ve just been so busy�� bullshit before I said: �Excuse me for interrupting you, Jamie, but�just how stupid do you think I am, anyway?�

I explained that saying he hasn�t called me for two weeks, after we had sex, because he's "busy" is not only an insult to my intelligence but is rather disrespectful. �Are you honestly saying that you haven�t had two minutes to spare, say while on your way home from work or something, to pick up your cell phone and call me? You could have called me, had you wanted to do so. Being busy is one thing. Being rude is another.�

I believe those were the exact words I used. He was�kind of struck dumb, I think.

I went on to explain that I am a grown up woman and not at all stupid and I don�t appreciate his treating me like I am. �If you don�t want to see me again, that�s OK. It�s disappointing, yes, but I�m a big girl. I think I can handle it. What I don�t like is being jerked around.�

I don�t think he liked my using that term: �jerked around.� So I explained that he just needs to be straight with me and stop the nonsense. I told him I had a good time when we went out; that I knew the deal before we slept together and I made the decision to do so anyway. I did what I wanted to do with him and if that was all that was ever going to happen between us, that was fine. But he needed to be honest about that so that we can just move forward, be friends and have fun when we see each other. Because, of course, we will see each other. I may not be at every gig the band-with-the-incredibly-stupid-name plays, but I will be at a lot of them. Why have tension, right? �It would be one thing if we were never going to run in to each other again. I�d just write it off as a one-night-stand and not think about it again. I wouldn�t care that you never called me. But that�s not the case, here.�

He insisted that it wasn�t that he didn�t want to call me.

�And just why, exactly, would I think you are interested in me when I haven�t heard from you in two weeks? That makes no sense. And even before that � it�s not like you�ve been acting like you like me very much.�

So we talked for a few minutes, more. I think he got my point, but I guess we�ll see. He�s obviously not the guy for me, but at least we got the chance to clear the air before I see him on Saturday. He still insists that he wants to see me again, but that he just doesn�t have a lot of time. I said: �That�s fine. We can just see each other when we feel like seeing each other and have time to do so. It doesn�t have to be a big deal. I don�t expect you to call me every night or to see me all the time � not at all. I don�t even have time for that. Just have the courtesy to actually keep the dates you make with me and not to ignore me for weeks on end.�

So he asked me out for tonight. I lied and said I already had plans and told him I�d see him Saturday anyway.

Do ya�ll think I am overreacting to this matter? Seriously � leave me a guestbook note, will ya? Sondra thinks I am justified in my ire, but�well, she isn�t exactly easy-going, to say the least. And I didn�t tell anyone else that we had sex, so there�s nobody else to ask. I don�t want to over-react. I mean, it�s not like we have any sort of commitment or anything. I mean�it�s not like we have anything. We just slept together. Once.

So April was sent home on last night�s ANTM. Sad to see her go, but better she than anyone else who�s left. As threatened, Shandi did cheat on her boyfriend. I felt bad for them and teared up (yes, I take this show too seriously, but in all honestly I cry at the drop of a hat anyway). Her boyfriend sure seems like a good person, though. I mean, he was justifiably mad at her, but after he cooled down a bit he was still supportive of her attempts to become America�s Next Top Model and seemed to treat it as something they would deal with after the competition was over.

And next week is the finale. I�m so sad. Excited, but sad.

And hey � where are the girl-on-girl photos that were supposed to be on the web site today? They had to take nude photos during last night�s episode, two girls in each shoot, posing together. Of course, they could only show the pictures from the heads up on t.v.

And finally�

You know you�re in California when:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. Some make over $300,000 and still can�t afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child�s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can�t remember...is pot illegal?

6. You�ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can�t remember...is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don�t even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

17. You can�t remember...is pot illegal?

18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there�s a report on every news station: �STORM WATCH 2003.�

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

21. It�s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

24. The Terminator is your new governor.

~~~

Word of the Day for Wednesday March 17, 2004

perfidy PUR-fuh-dee, noun:

The act of violating faith or allegiance; violation of a promise or vow; faithlessness; treachery.

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