I think I am feeling a bit impatient today. I just have no tolerance for people who will not stand up for themselves, instead pouting and whining about how unappreciated they are.

I�m also sick of the people around here who seem to think that I am solely responsible for the well-being of our relationships. Uh�last time I checked, it takes at least two people to make a relationship of any kind. I am absolutely through taking sole responsibility, and through feeling bad when my efforts don�t work because of the other parties lack of involvement. Generally, I start thinking �What might I have done better?� You know what? I am doing my best and if you can�t do likewise, well then - fuck you.

In a related matter, I am really sick of people making judgments of me or being afraid to approach me based on what they�ve �heard� about me. I actually had to ask someone in my department the other day to base their opinion of me on their own experiences with me, rather than gossip. Case in point: This gal was having a little meltdown before I was even aware she was having any problems whatsoever. So I am trying to help her and talk to her and I ask her why she didn�t come to me sooner. �Well, I was afraid of you because of things I�ve heard��

What are we, in Junior High, here? Of course, I ended up helping her out in a big way and making her feel a whole lot better and gee, she wouldn�t have had to get to the point of a nervous breakdown had she acted like an adult.

Jesus.

On to something which may possibly make sense to you, reader: I�m also very, very sick of writing notes to people via their guestbooks and comments � notes which go totally unacknowledged. I understand that we all don�t know each other personally and that you probably don�t give a flying fig about my opinion (although, if that is the case, the question is why are you writing in a public forum?). I also understand that some of these people probably get a lot more guestbook notes than I and so perhaps they don�t have the time to respond to all of them. However, I find it incredibly rude when I take the time to compliment someone on an entry (I rarely make comments unless they are to compliment or commiserate in some way) and the blogger says jack shit about it in response. As I have said before, if someone (even a stranger) compliments your outfit as you walk by, do you just completely ignore them?

Rude, rude, rude.

Of course, I�m not talking about people with whom I have developed a semi-relationship � people I know I will hear from eventually anyway. You know, all three of you.

I need a drink.

In other news, John is probably not coming down this weekend because we both have limited funds until we get our tax refunds (which should be any minute now, but do you think it would come in time for the weekend? Of course not). This bums me out in a major way because, on top of everything else, I am just incredibly, incredibly horny. And while next weekend may be Valentine�s Day, I am also due to start my period then (ON Valentine�s Day. What did I ever do to deserve such fucked up karma?) and John has issues with sexual activity during that time of the month. Well, let me re-phrase: I am free to get him off in any way I so choose, but I will either have to have fun with myself or forgo the notion of sexual satisfaction until we get together again, which will probably be two weeks later.

Do I sound bitter?

Those rockin� gals Berman and Berman didn�t help the matter much. Last night was a double-header of shows (no pun intended, although now that I write it it�s kind of funny), one all about the magic that is oral sex and one about different, non-traditional positions. And THEN, there was some sexual expert on the radio this morning, talking about all the different ways women can have orgasms. I didn�t learn anything new (sadly, really), but it was all very titillating.

(Hee...Titillating)

As a side note � you men are really missing out. We women-types can really have a lot of different kinds of fun, assuming we (and you) know what we�re doing.

You know...I love BOB. In fact, I have three BOB�s in my life now and I love each of them for their own distinct reasons. But I also love men. It would be one thing if there were no real men in my life at all right now � like most women, I have the ability to turn off the penis-need when I know it�s not a need that will be fulfilled any time soon. In times such as these, BOB is a wonderful boyfriend. But when you know the penis is just right around the corner�well, BOB then becomes a nice little hobby and one hell of a lot of fun in a threesome, but not something I want to be the center of my sex life.

And now for something completely different...go read Rumblelizard�s entry from today. It is filled with interesting ideas, as usual.

~~~

Word of the Day for Friday February 6, 2004

hector HEK-tur, noun:

A bully.

transitive verb:

To intimidate or harass in a blustering way; to bully.

intransitive verb:

To play the bully; to bluster.

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~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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