KAREN: Why is that?

JOHN: Remember on Sunday�s ride, over on Jolon Street right after we were turned around by the Cop at the Army base [long story] and headed back to the 101?

KAREN: Of course.

JOHN: �Member how we saw all of those CHPs zooming off in the other direction right afterward, right after we passed that gas station?

KAREN: Yes�

JOHN: Well, this chick was out there driving drunk. She plowed her SUV into another vehicle and killed two college students in that other car. Their car was going the same direction we were. We missed it by mere seconds.

The intimation that John and I have Guardian Angels, whereas those college students did not, aside - yes. We were basically inches away from being road kill.

And yet I love riding on that motorcycle. In fact, if I could find one my short little legs could actually hold up on my own, I would totally buy one. I would have years ago, in fact.

I don�t really think I�ll be telling my mommy about the accident-that-almost-was, though.

Last night, in my seemingly never-ending quest to become a Certified Sick Freak, I watched a documentary on one of the HBO channels about cannibals. Aside from the usual segments on Jeffrey Dahmer and Andrei Chikatilo, they had segments about two cannibalistic serial killers I hadn�t even heard of yet: Arthur Shawcross, who managed to freak out the gal interviewing him by telling her that her leg would taste like Roast Pork, and Issei Segawa. Mr. Segawa, despite being convicted of killing a woman in Paris and eating parts of her flesh, is not only alive and kicking but is out of jail and walking the streets of Tokyo where he works as a porn star (something I�ll keep in mind while planning my next overseas vacation).

I hate to admit it, but the introduction of two unknown serial killers to me is kind of surprising because I have a rather sick fascination with crime and criminals and especially serial killers. Combine this odd obsession with my love of history, especially American History and you have a gal who studies the lives of people like John Wesley Harding as if he were, like, Henry V. I am also especially obsessed with the Mafia, though I hardly think that distinguishes me from many, as most Americans seems to share my fascination. My hypothesis about this Mafia-fascination, by the way, is that we members of American society are pretty much rebels anyway (I mean, look at our history) and so we love to hear about other rebels who actually get away with it.

Well, plus�The Godfather was just a really great movie. And another by the way � I think that�s the only time in history that the movie is actually better than the book (which was rather crudely written, if you ask me)

Anyway, this is all to confess that�I have always felt a lot of sadness for Jeffrey Dahmer. Yes, I understand that he killed a lot of innocent people and that�s horrible. However, while with most people you can say � �Dude, he�s evil� or at the very least, �Dude, he�s evilly psychotic� with Jeffrey Dahmer�well, obviously he was mentally ill, but he actually ate people out of a sick form of love. He wanted to keep those people with him. It�s sad, really. Most serial killers (and killers just in general) kill others out of hatred, ya know?

I can practically hear the sound of clicks everywhere as ya�ll scramble to back away from my web page now, never to return again.

I will say, it�s rather eerie watching those home videos of Jeffrey hanging out with his family during the holidays, wherein he talks about how he basically lives on McDonalds and his father is telling him he looks so trim�when this was all filmed during the height of the guy�s cannibalistic culinary creativity.

Anyway�HBO makes some really great documentaries. And I�m not even thinking about the one where they interviewed that mafia hit-man for like an hour and a half.

In other television-watching news, I am looking forward to watching the new version of Salem�s Lot on TNT in a few weeks. I have high hopes. The book is my favorite of Stephen King�s (OK granted, that�s not saying much, but there are actually a few of his early novels that I love, have read several times each and which scare the crap out of me every time) and the original t.v. mini-series was woefully un-scary except when it came to the �acting.� They also changed key plotlines and morphed multiple characters into a few, which I detest, and I still laugh whenever I think of that little boy vampire with the crazy make-up on, floating around outside of people�s windows in a supposedly menacing manner. The book, though, is simply terrifying, folks. If you haven�t read it I highly suggest you run on over to Amazon.com right now and buy a copy.

Go ahead. I�ll wait.

*whistles to self*

OK, now that you�re back � I am really looking forward to this new mini-series and not just because I�ll get to look at that eye-candy commonly known as Rob Lowe for two nights straight. Actually, a lot of great actors are in this like Andre Braugher, whom I used to love on Homicide, and Donald Sutherland. Ooh and Rutger Hauer plays the baddest of all baddies (I do find Mr. Hauer to be sexy, boy howdy�or at least, I used to. He hasn�t aged well). Plus, aside from the fact that I love the book, vampires are another of my obsessions (I have many and I�m sure most of them revolve around some Freudian sexual freakiness, as this one so obviously does).

Hey, but who�s playing the kid? Did they eliminate that character (only the second most important character in the book)????

Something tells me I am sure to be disappointed.

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