~~~

Further proving that the ikss is a dork�last night, I removed my house key from my key chain. See, I have my key separated into segments � house and mailbox key on one end, car and garage key on another, and the two ends hook together (work keys and keys to parents� & sisters� houses are on a totally separate key chain; otherwise I�d throw my back out, trying to carry them all at once). They�re hooked together by a key chain that can easily come apart. This way, when John and I trade cars (as happens when he works on my car), it�s easy to take the car key off. We use the same sort of key chain, so I just pop his keys into the spot where mine used to be, until we switch back.

Anyway�last night, I went on a walk with D and Jen. Rather than carry around ALL of my keys while we walked, I popped off my house key section and left it in my car. While I took the house key up to my pad upon returning home, I never attached it back to the other keys�which I discovered after I already closed my front door as I left the house this morning, having grabbed only my car key before doing so.

Doh!

It wasn�t so terrible. Apartment Manager Darla was actually home this morning, so she let me back in to my pad to get my keys.

The real problem?

Darla: I left you a note on August 4, letting you know that we rented your old apartment and are going to need your garage.

The ikss: Um�(heart sinking) I didn�t get any note.

Darla: I figured you didn�t, since you paid too much rent this month.

I figured they had rented my old pad, since the �For Rent� sign had been taken down weeks ago. I also figured, though (obviously erroneously) that whomever was moving in must not want the garage, since nobody had said anything to me.

So now I have 30 days to find somewhere to store all of the shit that currently resides in my garage. Oh, not to mention I now have nowhere to park my car and if you�ve ever been anywhere near my neighborhood you will now what a pain in the ass that is bound to be. In the words of diarist Holden, there is a distinct lack of parking in front of my building. Thank God I am having a garage sale next week and that Linda is �borrowing� my old refrigerator for a while, or I�d be royally screwed. As it is, I am just hoping I can get a small (i.e. cheap) storage space for a reasonable price. Because I am at my budgetary limit right now. I have �X� dollars I am supposed to save every month toward a down payment on a house. That�s why I moved, you know? If I end up having to spend loads of cash on storage space, that pretty much blows the whole point of moving in the first place.

I think I am going to go through my garage again and will try to weed out even more stuff I can sell at the yard sale � like the multitude of Halloween and Christmas decorations I have.

*

As you may recall, certain members of my immediate family just returned from Kentucky. They went there for a family reunion. They stayed with my Uncle Dale and Aunt Edwina.

When Barbara first started telling me about everyone they saw and everything they did, I was a bit bummed I hadn�t gone.

Now? Not so much.

While I love and have great respect for Dale and Edwina, a whole lot of those people are the most petty I have ever heard of. One of my aunts is pretty much certifiably insane and doesn�t speak to anyone in the family, except she occasionally calls my mom. She doesn�t even speak to one of her own sons, because he married a Russian girl. Don�t ask � it makes no sense to me, either.

When Dale, Edwina and my cousin MJ came out here for my parents� 50th wedding anniversary, MJ spent a lot of time talking shit about various members of my family. It was easy for me to ignore her, but Barbara pretty much grew up with MJ (they�re the same age and were close as children) and was subjected to a lot of it.

Now, we all exchanged email and address information at the anniversary party, and MJ shortly thereafter started sending us all those stupid bulk emails that everyone gets: Jokes, chain letters; stupid bullshit that I always delete without reading and certainly don�t pass on (especially since many of hers had a decidedly Revival Meetin� Christian slant to �em which�I mean, *gag*). Well, my sister-in-law Peggy apparently wrote to MJ and asked that she not send her that type of stuff. Understandable, right? I mean, who wants all of that crap clogging up their In box?

My sister-in-law is pretty much the nicest person on the planet (while I have been known to exaggerate on occasion, I assure you that this is not one of those times), so I�m sure her email to MJ was nice about the whole thing. But MJ didn�t take it that way. She sent one last email to ALL of us, saying in a very snotty way that she was so sorry she had bothered us and that we�d never hear from her again.

I already knew some stuff about the many people arguing (and I mean, causing a rift where they don�t speak to each other for years) over the belongings of dead relatives, but I learned more when talking to Barbi yesterday. MJ, for instance, has a huge problem with her brother. Upon the death of their mother (my aunt on my mother�s side), the brother basically raided her house and took everything she had owned before anyone could go through it. So now MJ doesn�t speak to him. Their mother (my aunt) did the same thing when my grandparents died and was pissed off at my Uncle Dale for taking his father�s guns before she could get her hands on them (my Dad apparently told Dale at the time he�d better take the guns if he wanted them, so he did. And good thing because then his sister took everything else in the house�and was pissed about the guns. WTF?).

I was already appalled at hearing this new stuff about MJ and her brother. I said to Barbara yesterday: �Kinda makes you thankful our parents don�t have much to divvy up after they�re gone!� MJ is already trying to get their father, who is still alive, to divvy up his stuff now, so they don�t have to fight about it later.

Oh, and that�s another thing�MJ only recently started speaking to her father again. She wasn�t speaking to him for a long time, because he had the audacity to remarry a few years after his wife died.

While they were there, Barbara and Arnett saw MJ at the reunion and had a great time with them. Apparently, Arnett got along very well with MJ�s husband and they had some great conversations. From all reports, it was a grand ol� time down in the holler.

I know this isn�t going to mean anything to anybody but my family, who may read this after I am dead, but here is the email Barbara sent to MJ yesterday:

Dear MJ,

We all had so much fun in Kentucky. Sorry we didn't see more of you but we were running the whole time. I'm glad you got to see Mom and Dad a couple of times. The reunion was a lot of fun and we went up the hill to see the old place. It meant a lot to me. We actually made it up the hill to the old family cemetery. I think Dale thought I was nuts but I really wanted to try to get up there. I may never get there again. I wanted to see as much as possible. As you know the old house burned down but we did get up to the general area. It's pretty moving to stand there and look at your great grandfather's grave. Especially when it's pretty much just in ruins. We went over to the [F] cemetery after that and saw the [B] great grandparents graves. It just wasn't as special as [GBH's] to me. Probably because we didn't have to battle snakes, thorns and hornets to see it! It also had special meaning to Larry since evidently he and [MJ�s brother] had tried to dig Grandpa H back up after the funeral. Have you heard that story?

Larry said [MJ�s brother] took him over to your Uncle [E's]. I wish I had known they were going. I would have told him to pick me up some sorgham. I didn't get any. If you get a chance, please send some out to me. I will pay for it and the shipping.

Arnett just loved everyone and every place we went. He really enjoyed [MJ�s husband] and had just a fabulous time. He was so interested in everything. I've talked to him all these years about the holler and places but it's just hard to describe something like that to someone who hasn't seen anything like it. He was really happy to see it all.

So great to see you. You really look good. Sounds like you're really happy.

Love ya!

Barb

Nice, yes? This is what MJ wrote to her in response, this morning:

All I have to say is I was very disappointed that we didn't get to see much of you. I guess we aren't in the same class as you and Dale. It would of been nice if we had been invited to go with you all to Hawkins Branch.

MJ

What. A. Bitch.

Granted, I tend to come to the defense of those I love and she realty hurt Barbara�s feelings by writing that, but still. �I guess we aren't in the same class as you and Dale�??? What the fuck is that? Somebody�s got a serious inferiority complex. Which has been evident for years when it comes to her and her uncle Dale anyway, but I thought they�d gotten past that a long time ago.

Dale is rather wealthy, you see. He has a beautiful, huge house and owns horses. But he deserves it � it�s not like anyone just gave him a mess of money. He works very hard, built his own company from nothing and now employs 150 people in two locations. And hey � it�s not like MJ is hurting in any way, believe me. But, some people in my extended family are still jealous that Dale even got to go to college, so what can you do with these people? There is no talking reason to them.

My own response to MJ�s email would have been quite different from Barbara�s, which was:

Gosh MJ, we certainly didn't mean to offend you. I guess we just thought that you would be staying at the reunion. It seemed like that would be going on for some time. We had kind of an agenda to try to see everything we wanted to see and it didn't occur to us that you would want to leave the other relatives and come with us. I do apologize, but as I say, we didn't mean to offend you. Of course you would have been more than welcome to come with us.

I'm sorry you took it this way.

Love,

barbara

This woman had better not say any such thing to my mother or I will be contacting her. And it won�t be pretty.

As my friend D said yesterday (after I sent that email to S), �Please remind me never to piss you off.�

Of course, as Barbi said after all of this: �It's so stupid it's kinda funny, huh? I think their worlds are just a little too small. It's hard to see out of the holler, I guess.�

*

So the fabulous news is that I actually got eight full hours of sleep last night! I have been sleeping much better lately in general. I think the walking must be helping me in this regard. I usually still only get like six hours of sleep, but I actually sleep soundly that whole six hours, which is quite remarkable. Last night, though, I was getting sleepy at like 9:00! I went to my room to read before bed and couldn�t even make it through one chapter before I fell asleep.

Ah�blessed sleep.

*

If you know me and have been paying attention to the news lately, I�m sure you realize I have LOTS to talk about on the political front. I just don�t have the energy right now, frankly. I tend to get a little�um�angry when it comes to such matters these days.

So I will fill an entry with my ire later. For now, I am going to have a peanut butter sammich and thank God once again that my parents decided to leave Kentucky while I was small.

P.S. Eartha Kitt is eating chips so f�n loudly right now that I am afraid glass will start breaking.

~~~

Word of the Day for Thursday September 9, 2004

adage AD-ij, noun:

An old saying, which has obtained credit by long use; a proverb.

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~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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