1) I watched Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl last night (because I am always timely in my movie-viewing, as we all know). A highly enjoyable flick, but I just have to ask: how is it possible for Johnny Depp to look that good even while covered in that much grime? And also � what kind of eye-liner did he use? Because I need to get me some of that. Apparently, it will stand up to most anything.

2) The only thing more annoying than Oprah�s show? Those commercials for her OH! network with various people saying it�s their channel and singing�"OH! Now we know��

Good lord, just shoot me now.

And finally�you know that feeling you get when you�re feverish and your eyes are burning up your head from the inside and every time you cough you feel like your head may just explode all over your desk at work (if your ribs don't pop out through your chest first), where you have to stay because your boss is busy �working� at some spa in Mexico City and without you there would be nobody left to run the department and lord knows that would be the End of the World as We Know It, and no amount of Formula 44 seems to quell said cough and if one more person comes in to your office to ask you some inane question and then tells you that you don�t look so good you may just commit a violent crime?

Yeah, I know that feeling too.

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