OK, so I figured out that I've been (to use one of my favorite words) "dissing" the wrong cable company oh these many weeks. All this time I wanted ya'll to know that CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS SUCKS THE BIG ONE and instead I've been libeling some company called Century Communications. Is there a Century Communications out there? If so, my sincere apologies (and I think I wrote you a check last month in place of Charter). I think I've now gotten this squared away in my mind and have changed all of my past journal entries to reflect the fact that it is in fact CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS WHICH IS THE ABSOLUTLEY WORST RUN CABLE COMPANY OF ALL TIME. Believe me when I tell you that I haven't even begun to expound upon their many foibles.

But onward and upward...

The Little Big Man is out yet again today. It's his birthday today, so I can't say as I blame him, but jeez - he did just take seven days off for Pete's sake. Anyway, so I stopped by the store on my way to work in order to buy balloons. We're having a little party for the Little Big Man tomorrow, in celebration of his b-day, and we are out of balloons. So I go up to the cash register with my little $8 purchase and my ATM card isn't working. WHAT??? How pathetic am I that I don't have eight measley dollars in my bank account???!!! I hung my head in shame and exited the premises because of course I had no cash on me.

I am one of the few people left on the face of this planet who do not own a cel phone. So I waited until I got to work to call my bank. Much to my immense relief, I do have money in the bank. I don't know why the card wouldn't work, but at least I know it's not because I'm poor.

So tonight I have to fry up chicken wings for this little pot luck we're having at work tomorrow. This in mind, you have to be told that once I get home all of my clothes come off my bod. I walk around nekkid all the time, unless someone else happens to be in the pad and that someone is NOT someone who wants to see me nekkid (and let's face it, who doesn't want to see me nekkid?).

Being of Southern decent, I fry chicken...well, not often cuz it's not very good for you, but I fry it sometimes. I can fry up a mean chicken, I must say. Now, being a nekkid gal and frying chicken do not always go hand in hand. You'd think nobody would have to tell me not to fry chicken in the nude, though.

You'd think that wouldn't you?

One thing I can say for me, though, is I only had to make that mistake once.

I used to know this woman who was not exactly the brightest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean. She came to work one day and had bandages on both of her arms. It seems that she had put on a long-sleeved blouse that morning and the sleeves were wrinkled. So what did she do? She heated up her iron and proceeded to iron one of her sleeves - while the blouse was on her body. The real kicker is that, having burned her one arm, she then proceeded to iron the second arm while it was still on her body.

See, at least I only fried chicken in the nude once .

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