When I got home from work yesterday, there was a message on my machine. In essence, it said: �Hi Karen, this is David returning your call. I think you called me from your cell phone and I don�t have that number. I am so sorry I haven�t called you. I have been incredibly busy lately. Anyway, give me a call. I�ll leave my phone on.�

click

Like me, you may be wondering�who the hell is David? And why didn�t he leave his number? But then, his message claimed I had recently called him so apparently he thought I had it already.

I racked my brain�have I met someone named David lately? If so, why the hell don�t I remember calling him?

I know this all sounds incredibly retarded, but consider this scenario: a person goes out drinking; sometimes she doesn�t exactly remember who she may or may not have given her number to. In fact, she got a call only a couple of weeks ago from someone named �Van� and it took her about six hours to remember who �Van� was (really cute Philadelphia Eagles fan that she never bothered to call back).

At any rate, I was pretty sure I hadn�t called anyone, let alone anyone named David, but since the message inferred that he�d taken a while to get back to me, I was unsure and thought my memory may be failing me. I am old, you know.

So I called Sondra. �Hey, do I know anyone named David?�

After she laughed at me, Sondra determined that it must be The Hunky Drummer, Jamie. Turns out �Jamie� isn�t his real name (I now know it�s David James and that people in his family are notorious for going by their middle name�or variations thereof). She tried to convince me to call him, but since I wasn�t sure the message was from him I decided to think about it for a good long while. I mean, if I called him and he wasn�t the one who left the message, it would just seem like I was just making up some stupid reason to call him, right?

This afternoon, I decided I would call him and hopefully get his voice mail. That way, I could see if his voice sounded like the one in the message. So I called Lou to get his number.

Yes, it was Jamie who called and here�s why: That immature, a-hole, jerk-wad Robert called him from his cell phone, spoke like a woman and said something like: �Hey David, It�s Karen. Why haven�t you called me?� and some other obnoxious bullshit.

So now David/Jamie thinks I called him and left a lame message on his voice mail.

Can you guess how happy this all makes me?

I called David/Jamie and told him it wasn�t me who called and that in fact I didn�t even have his phone number until two minutes ago. We didn�t talk long because we�re both at work, but I am hoping he�ll call me later. I guess we�ll see. I take the fact that he called me even after my supposed lame-ass message to be a good sign.

I am very, very pissed, though. In fact, the more I think about it the more pissed I get. Robert is in his forties � why is this sort of behavior called for? Am I totally overreacting because I like Jamie?

So now I am thinking I may get Robert�s number and call him to tell him off�or at least to tell him to keep my name out of his mouth. I guess I could just try to be light-hearted about it, as I was when Lou first told me what happened, but I am also afraid that if I don�t say something Robert will only make things worse for me when it comes to David/Jamie. Let�s face it � Robert wants me. At the very least, I doubt he wants somebody who plays in a band with him to have me instead. Yes, Robert is married and is an obvious idiot and wouldn�t �get� me regardless, but I know enough about him to know he will be jealous of my dating David/Jamie.

Perhaps I should just wait to see if David/Jamie and I actually end up dating and then determine whether or not I will say anything to Robert. If nothing else, I will see both of them on the 21st when the band plays again. I can always tell Robert to keep his mouth shut then. Or should I say something to David/Jamie � something along the lines of �Listen�Robert is a turd. Don�t believe anything that comes out of his mouth when it comes to me�?

Before he gave me David/Jamie�s number, Lou told me what happened and made me swear not to tell Sondra. Apparently, Sondra was really pissed at Robert after the last time we saw each other (Robert will never leave me totally alone. I just ignore him, but Sondra gets mad) and was already gonna give him what for and tell him to leave me alone. So Lou is afraid if I say something to Sondra all hell will break loose. I told him I wouldn�t tell her, so I won�t�but now I don�t really have anyone to ask for advice. Barbara doesn�t know these people. Plus, she�s rather hard on people as a rule so I don�t ask her advice on many things.

Anyone want to play my Dear Abby?

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