I love me some Sopranos, people, and last night�s show was exceptionally good. And surprising (although the minute Tony called to tell her Silvio was on his way to pick her up, I knew she was dead meat). I can�t believe they�re making us wait two weeks for the finale, though! I can�t even believe it�s already time for the season finale to begin with, but making us wait an extra week for it is just poopy.

So yesterday I hung out with most of my family, at my Mom and Dad�s house. John went with me, so he could show off his motorcycle. We had a lot of fun and ate a lot of yummy, unhealthy food (chicken and dumplings. Mmm-mmm-good!). Barbara bought an ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery for dessert, in celebration of Amy�s being accepted in to both UC Berkley and UCLA (her top two choices). The intelligencia over at Cold Stone misspelled Congratulations on her cake.

Oh yeah � obviously John decided to come down for the weekend.

I think Amy has decided to go to Berkley. I thought that would happen, cuz it was her first choice. She actually can�t go until the Spring semester, but the late start is worth it to her, apparently.

When I got home from work on Friday, there was a message on my machine from�Sondra. She was offering to take me out for a drink this week and apologize for her part in our recent falling out.

Kids, every time I think about this, I get nauseous. I think it was very nice of her to call and I don�t want to be a bitch and not see her...but I am nowhere near ready for that. In fact, as I have written before, I do not want to socialize with her at all anymore. And I mean at all. No phone calls, no nothing - except in an emergency. I�ll still have to see her at family shin-digs and holidays anyway and that is more than ample.

I still haven�t called her back. I got a small reprieve this morning, because she sent a joke email to a bunch of people, including moi. So I replied and just told her I really appreciated her calling, but that I was very busy and wouldn�t be available this week (which is true, actually, although I�m sure I could squeeze her in after a training walk or something if I wanted to).

I don�t want to be a bitch here, but I do NOT want to hang out with Sondra in any way, shape or form anymore. And that includes meeting for �a drink� so that she can apologize. Can�t I just accept the apology left on my answering machine and leave it at that? I appreciate her making the gesture, I really do�but I will not allow such drama back in my life again and I am afraid that by even having �a drink� with her, I will be doing just that. I know me � I forgive and I forget all too easily. Hell, I already �forgive� her � that�s not at all the issue (although I do not forgive Lou and that is an entirely different story).

You all just have no idea how many times I have gone through something like this with Sondra. If I let her back in my life in any real way, it will not be the last.

I guess I should hear her out, though. She has only apologized to me once in her whole life (that I can remember); so if she�s offering to do so now, she must have actually thought about the situation and done some soul-searching.

Except that there is a part of me which doesn�t really believe she sees how she was wrong in what happened between us and thinks she�s just lonely. If that�s the case, it�s fair to neither of us � I mean if she really thinks she didn�t do anything wrong, why should she apologize?

And I�ve already apologized to her for what I did wrong, so I have no need to see her and go over it all again.

Ergh�I really don�t want to even talk to her, let alone see her. So how do I get out of this without hurting her feelings?

Why couldn�t she at least have waited like six months?

Along these lines and in case you haven�t noticed my not-writing about them lately, I am also not going to see Satellite Dogs anymore. I haven�t been doing so for several months and although they played a couple times last week and are again tonight, I am not going. I just decided to do a complete overhaul of my life and the people I choose to spend time with. Although I like Smithereens-Mike and want to be supportive of his musical endeavors, I just can not handle the stress of �Will-I-or-won�t-I-be-subjected-to-abject-rudeness-from-Original-Mike�s-girlfriend�? Also, I am just done with OM anyway. There is just no reason for me to try and hold on to the thin threads of what used to be that friendship, so I�m not going to. It causes me too much stress and sadness. I feel a little bad that I won�t be seeing Smithereens-Mike anymore, but not bad enough to convince me I should still go to their gigs.

I�m cleaning house, folks, And it feels very good, I must say.

~~~

A special note of thanks to ethelalcohol for making a donation to the AIDS Walk OC! You know�that is just so nice.

~~~

Word of the Day for Monday May 24, 2004

irrupt ih-RUHPT, intransitive verb:

1. To burst in forcibly or suddenly; to intrude.

2. (Ecology) To increase rapidly in number.

~~~

�My right breast has been significantly larger than my left, all week.�

- - From massage needed

last / next



~~~~~~~~~~~peace, love and smooches~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Don't know why you'd wanna, but on the off-chance you may feel tempted to steal any of my words and claim them as your own, please be advised: All material
Copyright 2002-2005, Howl-at-the-Moon Words



***DISCLAIMER: These are my thoughts and my thoughts alone. If you know me in my "real life" off the net and have come across this page purely by accident, please keep in mind that you were not invited here and I would suggest you leave this page now. However, should you choose not to do so, please be warned that reading my thoughts here is not an invitation to discuss them off-line. You may discover things you do not know about me and may not like very much. Such is life. Again, this is MY space and I will use it as I see fit. If you are offended by anything here, well that's pretty much your own fault at this point. I say all of this with love, of course, but there it is.